STALKING: 10 SIGNS THAT YOU ARE BEING STALKED

Dear Friends:

The original article was published in http://www.lifescript.com/, (November 9, 2008) and was written by Stephanie Tallman Smith. Its content follows for the benefit of all of our readers.


10 Signs That You Are Being Stalked

Stalking has become one of the most dreaded crimes against women in recent years. According to a 2000 study conducted by the federal Department of Justice, one woman in 12 will be stalked during her lifetime. This figure is startling when compared to the fact that 1 in 3,000 will be raped, based on current FBI statistics. Many women know their stalker personally and as a result, are hesitant to believe the situation is potentially dangerous. Being aware of these alarming signals can help you determine if you are being stalked and what to do about it.

1. Lurking around your workplace or your neighborhood.

Are you constantly bumping into the same guy after work or at the grocery store? Does he conveniently park next to you in the garage or near you on the street? Running into him every night at the gym does not make him a stalker, however, seeing him afterwards at the mall or parked in your neighborhood when you get home may be cause for concern. Likewise an occasional meeting could be serendipity. Repeated meetings could signal stalking.

2. Being watched.

Different than the lurker, the watcher will follow you from a distance, gathering personal information about you and those closest to you. They may photograph you, ask your friends about you or collect information from other sources such as public records or online research firms. Some will even hire a private detective to follow you so that they can learn every detail about your private life. If you get the feeling you are being watched, or persistently recognize the same person in a crowd, you may be under the surveillance of a stalker.

3. Repeated phone calls.

This does not mean a daily check in with someone you have been seeing regularly. This means multiple calls every day from someone you know only casually. It can also mean hang-ups or silent messages left on your machine. Try telling the person to stop and if the calls persist, call the police.

4. Inappropriate gifts.

Some stalkers start out by sending flowers or candy to indicate a romantic interest. When their affections are not returned, they escalate the situation by sending inappropriate and often pornographic gifts. A typical tactic is to send the gifts to your office, so that you are embarrassed in front of your peers and are forced to acknowledge them, even if only by stating you have no idea who sent them. Stalkers will often follow up their gift giving by calling you to see if you received it. If you have a company receptionist, see if that person can screen deliveries for you. The receptionist may also be able to describe the person who dropped off the package, in case it was delivered personally.

5. Finding yourself in the position of needing to be rescued.

While anyone can experience a flat tire or mechanical breakdown on the highway, many stalkers enjoy the feeling of playing the hero and will create situations that require you to be rescued. These can include a flat tire with no obvious signs of tire damage or running out of gas unexpectedly. The stalker will then suddenly appear and gallantly change your tire or have a spare gas can that solves your problem. As tempting as their assistance may be, politely decline and tell the person you have notified a tow company and they will be arriving shortly.
Some hero-complex stalkers are even more subtle in their approach. They will follow you on a rainy day and offer the use of their umbrella or through sleight of hand “borrow” your keys and then miraculously present them to you stating you must have dropped them while in line at the cashier. While most of these instances are in fact just gentlemanly behavior, it is better to be cautious with anyone you do not know personally. A true gentleman will understand your concern and politely excuse himself.

6. Manipulation.

Stalkers are looking for interaction with their victims and will often manipulate women into having contact by filing frivolous lawsuits. These legal measures can range from the ridiculous to the ruthless. The point is that in defending yourself, you are forced to deal with the stalker. Other forms of manipulation include threats against themselves, requiring the victim to intervene. They may threaten suicide, or hurting another person if you do not return their affections. If you find yourself being manipulated into behavior that you otherwise would not condone, you are likely being stalked and should report the person to the police immediately.7. Internet stalking.Modern stalkers send numerous emails to their victim each day. They will bombard their victim with instant messages, invitations to chat rooms, or links to suggestive web sites. Internet stalking is often an extension of physical stalking, although not always. In some cases, the stalker may not even know the “true” identity of the victim, having seen the victim’s profile in an online forum.

This does not make Internet stalking, also called cyber-stalking, acceptable. In fact, Internet stalking can be even more dangerous than physical stalking because it limits the victim’s access to online information, intimidates the victim into changing their online habits and can open the victim’s personal computer and the information it contains to the stalker’s hacking. The good news is most law enforcement agencies have cyber-crime units and often Internet stalking is treated with more seriousness than reports of physical stalking.

If you find yourself being harassed online, report the situation to both your Internet provider and local law enforcement.

8. Defamation of character or insults.

Stalkers often try to isolate their victims from family and friends. They release character-damaging information, regardless of whether it is true or not, in hopes of ostracizing the victim from those closest to her. When hurtful or damaging information is made public, your first reaction may be to retreat or withdraw from the public eye. This is exactly what the stalker wants. Instead, fight character defamation and public insults vehemently. If there is truth to the information, accept responsibility quickly and tell your side of the story. The important thing is to maintain your presence within your normal circles and not isolate yourself from support systems that could help you in the event your stalker moves closer.

9. Violence.

The use of threats or violence to frighten their victims is a common strategy for many stalkers. You car may be vandalized or your home burglarized. While these crimes happen all too often in today’s environment, the non-stalking criminal will not contact you afterwards. If you receive threats or direct contact from someone who claims to have been responsible for a recent crime, report this immediately to the police. The information you provide may help them piece together physical evidence from the crime and solve your stalking case at the same time.

10. Cumulative unwanted contact of any kind.

Perhaps no particular incident stands out in your mind as being dangerous, however, when you look at the entire picture, what you see alarms you. Do you experience repeated unwanted contact from the same person? If it is someone you know, tell him he is making you uncomfortable. If the situation continues, report him to the police. If it is someone you do not know, go directly to the police.

Stalking is often subtle, yet pervasive. In fact, the stalker is counting on you feeling as if his actions are ordinary demonstrations of affection. If you find yourself experiencing any of these situations on a consistent basis, you may be the victim of stalking, and your quick reporting to the police is the most effective tool in putting an end to the stalker’s terror.
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Faithfully,

Douglas Castle

FINDING LEGITIMATE HELP WITH DEBT AND CREDIT PROBLEMS

There are many agencies claiming to provide help with debt and credit repair services, but beware, many of these companies are scams. If you are looking to repair your credit, considering bankruptcy, or trying to reduce your debt, it is vital to become educated on the legitimate free, low-cost and credit repair service options.

To learn ways to improve your credit and how to find legitimate resources for low or no-cost help, please check out these publications at ftc.gov/credit.

• Your Access to Free Credit Reports — Tells you why it is important to monitor your credit history, how to request a report, and how to dispute errors.
• How to Dispute Credit Report Errors — Tells you how to report and correct inaccurate information in your credit report. Includes a sample dispute letter.
• Building a Better Credit Report — Teaches you how to legally improve your credit report, how to deal with debt, and how to spot credit-related scams.
• Knee Deep in Debt — Provides options to help you get back on track with finances, including: realistic budgeting, reputable credit counseling, debt consolidation, or bankruptcy.
• Fiscal Fitness: Choosing a Credit Counselor — Provides debt repayment plans, explains the differences between secured and unsecured debt, and offers questions to ask credit counseling agencies before using their services.

The FTC works for the consumer to prevent fraudulent, deceptive, and unfair business practices in the marketplace and to provide information to help consumers spot, stop, and avoid them. To file a complaint or to get free information on consumer issues, visit ftc.gov or call toll-free, 1-877-FTC-HELP (1-877-382-4357); TTY: 1-866-653-4261.

Thinking About Credit Counseling? In order to make sure you are using a legitimate service, you can search through this list of government-approved organizations for your state at www.usdoj.gov/ust. This is the website of the U.S. Trustee Program.

To read the full article this information was gathered from go to: http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/credit/cre13.shtm

Cinda Hocking, LMSW
Lifestyle Counselor and Consultant, Internal Energy Plus.com

NEW SECTION: EMPLOYMENT AND JOBS

Dear Friends:

We have added a new section to our Resources (see below, the second heading down), called EMPLOYMENT AND JOBS.

These are very difficult economic times, and we at LIFE LINKS would like to do anything in our power in order to help stave off the growing threat of unemployment by connecting prospective employees with prospective employers.

Check us out!

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle
About: DOUGLAS CASTLE

VETERANS FACE HIGHER SUICIDE RISK - HOW CAN WE HELP?

When are our depressed military veterans most at risk for suicide and how can we help lower that risk? The most recent University of Michigan suggest 1/3 of the veterans treated in Veterans Affairs hospitals suffer from depression which puts those veterans at an increased risk of suicide. *

When is the risk the highest? The University of Michigan study of veterans with depression revealed an increase in suicide risk after discharge from a psychiatric hospital and a shorter-term increase in risk after beginning treatment with an antidepressant. The study confirmed what other studies have shown: that the first 12 weeks after starting antidepressants is a higher risk period for patients as was the first year immediately following psychiatric hospitalizations. Veterans 61 to 80 years of age were found to have the highest risk of suicide.

How to help? To have the greatest impact on reducing suicide, health systems, loved ones, and social support networks should work to prioritize suicide prevention efforts following psychiatric hospitalizations and after starting anti-depressants. If someone you know is starting an anti-depressant or recently been hospitalized for depression, find out what national and local resources and support groups are available. In addition, help your loved one find physical and social activities, spiritual pursuits, creative expression, hobbies and projects that provide them with a sense of personal fulfillment. Even though a depressed person may act like they want to be alone, it is vital to reach out repeatedly and offer opportunities for them to participate in their community and see why life is still worth living. There are effective tools and techniques available to help people cultivate more happiness in their lives. If they don't have energy to do it alone, maybe you can explore options and learn together?

Just a little extra support can make the difference between life and death. Check out the resources listed below. Familiarize yourself with the signs and symptoms of depression so you can help the veterans and others at risk for suicide in your life.

Cinda Hocking, LMSW
Internal Energy Plus Consultant and Wellness Counselor

*For more details about the study go to: http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=95596

In the Bleak Midwinter

Dear Readers,
I have Seasonal Affect Disorder or SAD. At it's worst, it has stolen from me my ability to smile and laugh, think clearly and most importantly It has kept me from being myself. At it's best, I have labored through my day in a fog just going through the motions. SAD turns those of us who suffer from it into people we don't even recognize. It's as if our own internal energy, the energy that allows us to function at our best has been drained. And I would venture to guess, this winter will probably be one of the most difficult for everyone, considering the social, political and financial crises our country (and the world) is facing.

So being faced with climbing a mountain that seems insurmountable, what do I do to get myself through a long and bleak winter? Truthfully? I do whatever I can. In the past I have taken medication when it was needed. I have also sought out other alternative methods to help me through. And I have come up with some of my own solutions. One of the most important things I have learned in working with this disorder is that there are many different types of approaches that can help. Among the many tricks I have up my sleeve to keep myself from total devastation I have used meditation, visualization, deep breathing, and physical exercise. When do I do these things? I try to attack it even before it starts, but especially when my brain and body are saying to me "I don't feel like it!" In fact, that is the most important time to do something. Why is that? Because I have discovered for myself, that action is what really helps. Even if it means taking baby steps, literally. Here's a secret I will share with you. For a long time, I wanted a magic pill, something that would just make it better. And I looked for it. Believe me. Anything to make me feel better. But what I found out is that there is no magic bullet. I have to put the effort forth. Even if it's just baby steps. Small steps for me started with a sticky note on my mirror that reminded me to smile. Sounds silly and naive and even simple, I know, but eventually it worked.

If you are suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, please browse through our Life Links support listings under Depression. You will find direct links to helpful information there. Also, take a look at the December 28, 2008 post titled: 'Tools for 2009.' This may seem a shameless plug, but I have been an Internal Energy Plus Consultant for three years and running. I have seen what this system can do for anyone seeking solace from depression, especially me.

Here's to a happier and healthier 2009!
Lola Kern
Internal Energy Plus Senior Consultant.
http://theinternalenergyplusforum.blogspot.com/

OVER THE COUNTER (AND THROUGH THE WOODS)

Dear Friends:

We tend not to hear too much about non-prescription treatments (i.e., natural remedies) because they are 1) not generally patentable by (or profitable for) the pharmaceutical companies and are therefore not advertised or advocated, and 2) because they are generally more wellness- and prevention-oriented. In our culture, we tend to wait until we get sick, and then look for a "magic bullet" to eliminate our symptoms.

You might wish to research the following uncelebrated but effective nutrients for help in either preventing or relieving some common medical problems. It is easy to get a wealth of information about these via Google search, or by looking in Wikipedia.

1. High total cholesterol and/ or triglicerides? Look up NIACIN.

2. High total cholesterol and/or triglicerides? Look up FOLIC ACID and VITAMIN B12.

3. Worried about hardening of the arteries and coronary artery disease? Look up OMEGA FISH OILS.

4. Worried about arterial plaque or high blood pressure? Look up ARGININE.

5. Concerned about excessive blood sugar, and storing too much body fat? Diet and weight control? Look up CHROMIUM PICOLINATE.

The above nutrients are inexpensive, and may prove very helpful as part of your health and diet regimen. Of course, since LIFE LINKS does not provide medical advice, you should ask your healthcare provider if these supplements are appropriate for your use. There is no substitute for professional advice, especially as it concerns your personal health issues, allergies, sensitivities and possible drug interactions.

Faithfully,

Douglas Castle